Behind The Scenes of Pokemon
by Mary Bachiu
Summary: This is a little bit more graphic than "Behind The Scenes of DBZ" so could please try not to flame me this is my second fic


Behind The Scenes of Pokemon  
  
Mary Bachiu: Hey, everyone! This is Mary Bachiu here from the Mighty Schnarz Station. And today, were going behind the scenes of Pokemon. [Aside] Oh, the horror!!!  
  
(Pokemon fans begin to surround me. ::laughs nervously::)  
  
Anyways, back to the tour.  
  
I walked down the hall towards Ash's room.  
  
Mary Bachiu: (sighs) Baka!  
  
I open the door and walk in to find Ash…doing…something!  
  
Mary Bachiu: Hey, how ya doing Ash!  
  
Ash: (Turns around and freaks out) AHH!!! It's the evil in-flaming inferno lady from here and beyond! AHHH!!!! GOD SAVE US ALL!!!!  
  
Mary Bachiu: (Sweat drops)…Right! HEY!!! (My big giant head shows up out of nowhere and I take out a giant wooden mallet) HOW DARE YOU CALL ME AN EVIL IN-FLAMING INFERNO LADY, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE TWERP!!!! (I beat him with my Mallet.)  
  
Ash: (Cries and curls up into the fetal position in a corner) Don't hurt me!!!  
  
Mary Bachiu: HMPH! Weakling. (Thinks and sweat drops ::I sound like Vegeta::)  
  
I walk out and head down the hall towards Misty's room.  
  
Mary Bachiu: (I open the door and walk in) Hi-ya Misty!  
  
Misty: (Turns around and glares daggers at me, with steam coming out of her ears) YOU HURT MY ASHY-WASHY, NOW YOUR GONNA PAY!!!!  
  
Mary Bachiu: (Thinks and giggles) Ashy-Washy!  
  
Then what she just said registers in my head.  
  
Mary Bachiu: (Meows and Hisses) Pfft, must be PMS.  
  
With this said I started to walk out.  
  
Misty: (Big angry head) HOW DARE YOU WALK OUT ON ME WHILE I'M TALKING? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I SHOULD…  
  
I walk out and head towards Brock's room.  
  
Mary Bachiu: Here we are in front of (bored sigh) Brock's room, the physco manic woman chaser.  
  
I walk in to find Brock running towards me, and then he tackled me.  
  
Mary Bachiu: AHHH!!! I've been glumped. :: -_-:: (Sighs)  
  
Brock: (Big happy face, like child would get when he is given his favorite candy) Would you be my girlfriend?  
  
Insert dramatic sequence, death scene from Titanic.  
  
Brock: I will never forget you my love. (Sinks)  
  
Mary Bachiu: No Brock, don't die! I don't want you to go! Please don't leave me?  
  
Brock: (Floats back up and jumps out of the water) I AM HERE FOR YOU MY LOVE!  
  
Mary Bachiu: (Sweat drops and speaks in a monotone) you're supposed to be dead!  
  
Brock: I am!  
  
Mary Bachiu: (Sighs) Yes!  
  
Brock: Oh, I get ya!!! (Sinks again…)  
  
Returns from dramatic sequence to find Brock…doing…something…  
  
Mary Bachiu: (I speak with half slit eyes) what are you doing?  
  
Brock: (Looks up) I'm seeing if your breasts are the right softness.  
  
Mary Bachiu: (Eyebrow twitching) HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME LIKE THAT, YOU HENTAI! I WILL KILL YOU! (Takes out a mallet and hits him with it.) ::Evil Laugh:: Now run along and play with your lovely Professor Ivy.  
  
Brock: (Curls up into a fetal position) Don't say that name!  
  
Mary Bachiu: OHHHOOOHOOOHOOO! (I just laughed like Nahga) ::shudders:: (I poke him and he becomes even more venerable.) OHHHOOOHHHOOOHHHOOO! Your pathetic!  
  
Brock: Evil lady, leave me alone and save yourself!  
  
Mary Bachiu: (Sweat drops) RIGHT!!! You are the weakest link good-bye!  
  
Young Link: (Gangster Voice) Are you talking to me?  
  
Adult Link: (Smacks him) Moron! Now's not the time for that crap. But that doesn't matter! Come on mini-me, the EVIL BLUE BIRD OF DOOM is after us. (Picks him up and runs away.)  
  
Young Link: (Crying and hitting him) Put me down you big moronic penguin (*BEEEEP*)  
  
Mary Bachiu: (Sweat drops and sighs) that was completely un-called for.  
  
I walk away and head towards Jessie's room.  
  
For once, I decided to use my brain and open the door quietly.  
  
I walk in to find Jessie at her make-up table, with a sad look on her face.  
  
Mary Bachiu: Hey, do you want to say anything to your viewers.  
  
Jessie: No, but could you go I'm not feeling to well.  
  
Mary Bachiu: All right!  
  
Jessie: Oh, before you go. If you see Mondo tell him this for me; (Big angry head shows up and eyebrow is twitching) TO PISS OFF AND STOP TRYING TOO ASK ME OUT!  
  
I leave and start heading towards James' room. But along the way I bump into Gary.  
  
Mary Bachiu: Hi-ya Gary, where are you heading too?  
  
Gary: (Bragging, as usual) To pay Ashy-Boy a visit.  
  
Mary Bachiu: (I point out) you do realize that's a gay nickname you got there?  
  
Gary: (Sulks) How did you find out?  
  
Mary Bachiu: (Eyebrow twitches nervously) Okay…good-bye!  
  
I leave and continue on my way towards James' room. Once inside, I find James running around shouting profanities.  
  
James: HOLY SHIT! MOTHERFUCKING SHITTING FUCK SHIT FUCK!  
  
Mary Bachiu: Hi, sorry if I interrupted anything.  
  
James: Huh? Oh! (Laughs nervously and scratches the back of his head)  
  
Mary Bachiu: So what seems to be the problem?  
  
James: (Thinks aloud) I was trying to find my Flaming-Moltres outfit.  
  
Mary Bachiu: (Sweat drops) you must really like that outfit.  
  
James: (Smiles) I sure do! It brings out the best side of me!  
  
Mary Bachiu: (Sweat drops even more) Right, you really do need to get a life! (Mutters) Great I'm stuck in here with a moronic cross dresser!  
  
James: What did you say?  
  
Mary Bachiu: (I say quickly) Nothing!  
  
James: Yes you did! Growly, Flame Thrower! (Appears out of nowhere)  
  
I take out mallet and smack them upside the head with it. They fall with giant swirls in their eyes.  
  
James: (Dizzily) I like eggs!  
  
I bend over and kiss him on the cheek.  
  
Mary Bachiu: (Whispers) your cute! But, you got to learn to control your emotions better. (Laughs) God, it's so hard to be serious all of the time.  
  
I walk out and head towards the exit. Outside I prepare for the end scene of this documentary for file #2.  
  
Mary Bachiu: (Sighs) Since I'm getting a cut in my pay by the powers that be I shall probably not be returning to the Mighty Schnarz Station. And I didn't even get to say hello to my favorite Pokemon. Oh, well!  
  
Elsewhere…  
  
Up on a fence in the downtown urban areas of Verdain city. A certain Pokemon was sitting there singing.  
  
Meowth: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, there they are standing in row, big ones small ones, some as big as your head…  
  
  
  
THE END  
  
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN POKEMON OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT HAS TO DO WITH THE SHOW. IF I DID I'D BE SWIMMING IN PUDDING RIGHT NOW!!!  
  
REVIEW!!!! 


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